Pars and other Stories
Dear Esteemed, Chamber Golf Team
A great man once said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Well, Mr. Gretzky, you never played golf with us.
I know I stepped up to at least 2 balls this season and completely missed the ball on my swing. Most of the ones I hit went to places I didn’t dare venture. But every now and again I connected with that ball and the results were almost magical. And that my friends is why I keep coming back for more.
“Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.” –John Maxwell. I saw a few clubs get tossed this year followed by cussing that would make a sailor blush and that was just Sue. Others turn to the bottle to deal with their frustrations. When I say others I mean ME. Then you have your Jeff Snellings and Kevin Pattersons. Always cool as a cucumber. It just makes me want to vomit. They need to drink more beer on the course.
This season brought us some new players. A mythological God, an attorney and a tire jockey. Mike Loughery nicknamed himself Zeus for some reason. Zeus was the Father of God’s and men who ruled the Olympians from Mount Olympus. Mike is the Father of Sam and is ruled by his wife from his party supply store in Maple Valley. I guess I get the reference.
Attorney, Dan Nielsen, ended his season with a pickup on hole 5 with two shots out of bounds. I know, people in glass houses. It was a pleasure playing with Dan and we are expecting big things from him in the years to come.
Our tire guy, Tim Henry, did outstanding this year. Despite his handicap he must have psyched out the other players. I don’t think he ever lost a round against another opponent. He is now focusing all his energy into a movie he is making. It’s an adaptation from a musical called Les Schwab (pronounced- Lay Schwa). I think it’s French or something.
We say goodbye this year to our number one player, Sam. Also known as Hercules (son of Zeus), he has been tempted by a lovely lady and will be moving off to a distant and enchanted land to tie the knot. We wish him every success in love, life and golf.
“Eighty percent of success is showing up.” Woody Allen. And show up he did. That is when Mario wasn’t sneaking off to China. I will say, he was here much more than in previous years. I can always count on him to play consistent golf. And we have Shane. The skirt wearing, cigar smoking, real estate mogul who improved his handicap this year and took points just about every time he played. Don’t plan on bailing on us next year. In fact, I want to see everyone back on the team next season. I have so much fun competing with this group of people. You are all number one in my book.
So let’s raise a glass and toast our 14th place finish. Hey, it’s not last and we have a lot of room to improve.
GMVBDCC Golf Captain
July 22, 2013
Mike Loughery, Party Etc., is a golfing God. We will all refer to him as Zeus going forward. Mike took 13 of 18 possible points last Monday. Then got the 2 bonus stroke points to boot. What a phenomenal performance from this young man. Tim Henry, Les Schwab, was nipping at his heels with 11 out of 18 and 2 bonus stroke points. I don’t know what we should call him. His team also won the Wacky and Wild Golf Challenge on Friday. Hot Hot Hot! Shane Davies, Windermere, finished with a respectable 9 points including his 2 bonus stroke points. And yours truly, Tim Mickelson, was what we like to call in the industry “Eye Candy.” Last match of the regular season tonight. We have Sam, Kevin, Sue and Tim tonight at 5:15pm. I’m going out early if anyone would like to join me.
July 9, 2013
What happened last night? No stroke points and no team bonuses. Despite that Tim Henry did score 11 of 20 total points. Good job! The rest of you are in the dog house with me. Woof! Fun times await us next week against Gloria’s.
June 24, 2013
Ok, it wasn’t the end of the world but I was watching the weather while Sam, Sue, Jeff and Mario were out there. Pretty rainy and wet. Although you did get a peek at the sun for a few minutes. But it didn’t matter. You guys crushed them with 46 of 84 points. Positive movement.
Mario takes honors this week with 13 of 20 points. Sue and Sam weren’t looking too shabby with 11 of 20 points and Jeff, cramped up from his long car ride back from Chelan took 7 of 20. Add four team bonus points and I call that a victory. Now go dry off and get ready for next week.
It’s tournament time. And it’s going to be fun. Sue, Mike, Mario and Kevin will be competing against the field in the Scramble/Ramble.
July 1, 2013
This is a 4-person team event where three players play a scramble ball and one person plays his/her own ball on each hole. The team will count two balls on each hole, the scramble ball and the ramble (individual) ball.
Each player will hit a tee ball. The team will then select its best position drive and each player will hit their second shot from that location. Continue this selective best shot format until the ball is holed.
The "box assignment" for the Ramble player is as follows:
Player A FRONT holes 3,4,8 BACK holes 12, 13, 18
(In the event of a threesome, two players will Scramble and one player will Ramble on each hole. The box assignments remain the same for Ramble players ABC. On Holes 5, 7 or 16, 17 the missing player is deemed to have scored a bogeyand the other 3 player will scramble on those holes.)
June 19, 2013
Carl Spackler: Check me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key...
Sandy: Gophers, ya great git! The gophers! The little brown furry rodents!
Carl Spackler: We can do that; we don't even have to have a reason.
Well, Mike, Kevin, Tim and Shane had a reason and they killed it out there on Monday. Way to go! Taking 49 of 84 points! Outstanding.
Tim Henry (Les Schwab) is the king of the evening. He took 12 of 18 possible points plus the two stroke points for a total of 14.
Kevin Patterson (Tahoma School District) is the queen of the evening. He took 10 of 18 points in the round plus the two additional stroke points for a total of 12.
Shane Davies (Windermere Real Estate/Maple Valley) was the Prince. More like the Fresh Prince. He split points with his competition getting 9 of 18 in the round and 1 of the 2 stroke points for a total of ten.
Then there’s Mike Loughery (Party Etc.). We call him the Joker. He split match points and logged 9 of 18. He lost the stroke points. However, the team together took another 4 points in Team Bonuses.
June 11, 2013
This will be brief. Sam’s Hoes chewed us up and spit us out. We got 28 of 84 points. Special recognition to Mike Loughery. He split points with his competitor, 10 out of 20. The rest of us did less than stellar.The good news is we can make it up next week with our “A” Team. Sam, Kevin, Tim and Shane. Go get 'em.
June 3, 2013
Congratulations Sam, Kevin, Jeff and Shane. You guys crushed it. 54 points out of 84 against Chevron, one of the toughest teams in our league. Everyone ended with 11 out of 18 possible match points and three of you took the extra 2 stroke points. We also took the team bonus of 4 points. We are still 3rd from last but moved 14 points closer to the next team on the ladder. I like that.
The key for the week was consistency. Sam Loughery (Party Etc.) “scratched it” shooting par and lowered his handicap to 1. Jeff Snelling (plumThumb) shot a 46 which is 2 under his handicap. Shane Davies (Windermere Real Estate) shot 54 which is 1 over his handicap and Kevin Patterson (Tahoma School District) shot 52 which is 2 over his handicap. If we continue to shoot our handicap or better each week we will continue to wipe out the competition.
Chevron was at a bit of a disadvantage. Our illustrious Sue Van Ruff was schedule to play for them on Monday and called her son Eric last minute letting him know she couldn’t play against her own team. This must have gotten into his head along with Shane paring holes with a 17 handicap. Kevin also noted they ran out of beverage by the sixth hole. They may have needed more or less. Either way we outplayed them.
May 20, 2013
I am happy to report my slump is over. Mario took me aside before the match and worked on my swing. And boy did I come out swinging. I ended the evening with 5 under my handicap. Unfortunately, my competitor ended at 6 under his handicap and stole the 2 stroke points with a birdie on hole 9.
Kevin Patterson ended with 3 under his handicap and added two stroke points to his impressive 11 match points for a total of 13 out of 20.
Sue struggled with stiff shoulders. Her spouse Bill made her haul gravel on Saturday. She still managed to take 7 of 20 points.
Mario managed to take 11 of 20 points from his competition to include the two stroke points.
Subtle shout out to Tim Henry. He played for another team last night but scored 13 out of 20 points for them. He also shot 2 under his handicap. Just bring that magic back to us.
Great job everyone. We split the total points down the middle against Desert Sun Tanning. 42 out of 84 total. This won’t put us in first place but will quickly move us up from the bottom. We moved from 3rd to last to 4th from last with Dick’s Barber Shop nipping on our heels and Gloria’s pretty far off in the distance. A sixty point night will get us there. But that will have to wait. We have next week off for Memorial Day. Enjoy the rest. We need to come back strong and crush the Chevron team.
May 13, 2013
We had a great showing last night against Maple Valley Vision. They are a tough team to beat. Mike Loughery joined us for the first time this year. He got 8 points plus 1 stroke point for a total of 9. Jeff Snelling arrived last night with a taste for blood. I’m sorry, make that a taste for beer. The one he had to wait for until after the round. It was a good carrot. He scored 10 match points plus took 2 stroke points. Tim Henry joined me for a practice round before the match. Despite all the fallen trees and messy greens we were able to get in a good warm up. And it must have helped. Tim took 11 match points plus the 2 stroke points. We ended with 39 out of 84 points. Not bad. We are getting closer to moving up the ladder.
I want to thank all who showed up and endured sideways rain, wet seats, puddles on the greens and lost balls under branches in the middle of the fairway. Mike, you are a champion. Tim Henry, congratulations on lowering your handicap to 16. I raised mine to 18. Oh well, next week.
We play Desert Sun next week. They are ranked third in the league with 326 points. We are 84 points behind them. That means we could be tied with them if we take all 84 possible points. I’m ready!
May 7, 2013
We began our competition on the 15th hole. A beautiful par three in which you are perched up about 30 feet over the green. Sam Loughery, Party City, managed to land his tee shot on the green. My shot found a neighbors bush never to be seen again. Sam struggled with his putting and walked away with a four. Despite the two stroke penalty I managed to lock in a six.
By the time we got to the 18th hole my nerves had settled and I was feeling more confident about my game. My second shot, meant for the green, headed for the woods off to the right of the hole. It hit a tree and appeared to bounce back. Once again, no such luck. Steve and I searched for it for a couple minutes. Then as I stood there in bewilderment, I heard some cracking overhead. I quickly realized a branch had come loose and was falling from the tree I was near. As it made its way closer to the ground it took on the sound of an 8’ long 2x4. I turned tail and ran up the hill as fast as I could. When the dust had settled Steve and I found a 15 foot long, dead branch lying directly where I was standing. Feeling a bit anxious about my survival I finished the hole with an 8. Better known in the golfing world as a “Snowman.”
I’m not sure when this curse fell upon me. It could have started when I found that native, taboo Tiki doll at the construction site in Hawaii while on vacation with my blended family. Any suggestions on how to remove the curse would be appreciated.
Enough about my sad story. I have some kudos for the team. Sam finished with a 40. Just four over par. He is ranked number 5 in the league. Great Job! Mario Sorci, Anesthesia Equipment Supply, Inc., had a great night and took 12 of 20 points. Tim Henry, Les Schwab Tire Center, coming directly from a golf tournament got 14 out of 20 points. Congratulations! We are moving in the right direction and having fun doing it.
May 1, 2013
I can’t believe it is already May. The Greater Maple Valley Black Diamond Chamber of Commerce team has completed five rounds of golf in the Lake Wilderness Business Golf League. And it has been fun.
Returning players include Mike and Sam Loughery of Party Etc., Sue VanRuff our illustrious Chamber Maid, Mario Sorci of Anesthesia Equipment Supply, Inc., Shane Davies, Windermere Real Estate/Maple Valley,
I must apologize to the neighbors living on the Golf Course. A few of our shots ended up in their yards and some even made it to the street. No damage though…we checked. If you find any of those balls in your yard, please return them to Jeff Snelling. He’s still working out that slice.
A great big thank you must go out to Scott Bennion with Maple Valley Vision. He does a great job every week of organizing all the data so we can track our progress throughout the season. Also, Bill VanRuff, Commissioner of Maple Valley’s Fire and Life Safety. He doubles as the Commissioner of the Business Golf League and is extraordinary when it comes to settling rules disputes. And lastly, Steve Englund and the Lake Wilderness Golf Course staff. They deliver a great product including an affordable and delicious buffet every Monday night. Which, by the way, is open to the public.
Sound Horizon Insurance Services